Posts tagged #Yvonne Collier

Assertive Skills in 2017 using Aristotle's wisdom!

It's 8th January 2017 and I'm back blogging !!

This is the 25th year of my assertive skills Maddison Training business.

I've taught / coached / facilitated the learning / trained thousands of people in assertive skills, 'The ability to speak up balanced by empathy under an umbrella of respect'.

And I encourage all my students to teach these learned skills to others. Teaching embeds your learnings as well as cascading the skills, creating a 'ripples in a pond' effect.

In practicing, living and sharing the skills . . .  (this will I hope ) . . . lead to a more peaceful world.

When you use and apply the tools and techniques of assertive communication skills you become more influential and persuasive.

Even in this 2017 digital age, we can call on the wisdom of Aristotle (4th century BC). He identified 3 fundamental elements of persuasion: Ethos, Pathos and Logos. These same 3 principles apply to speaking and writing in the 2017 digital age.

Ethos is your ( the speaker's) personal character / credibility.  Pathos appeals to the emotions of your audience and Logos is the logic behind your point of view / proof / evidence / facts to back up your proposal / suggestion.

Call to Action:

Think about who you want to persuade to do something for you today / this week. Use Ethos, Pathos and Logos to help you craft your assertive message. 

For those of you who are familiar with Yvonne's LAFFe to Success Model use this to guide you to move modes in preparing and delivering your message. Spend sometime in Logic mode to plan your best approach to suit their needs. Gather the evidence. Think WIIFT (What's In It for Them). Get creative in Fun mode. Tap into Feeling mode to appeal to their emotions. What's your credibility? Why are you saying / writing this - your ethos. Then take Action and ask / present / converse . . . 

P.S. Next post we will explore my LAFFe to Success Model.

Love to hear how you go.

Best wishes


Job review coming up? Need best interview Skills?

Here’s some practical advice I gave KH and she implemented successfully. She writes “I heard back from my current employer today re pay rise and it is exactly the figure I had in mind so wonderful result!

Maybe something here will resonate and help you too.

KH felt she had "hit a brick wall, felt unconfident and experienced interviews as probing and stressful".

She writes, “I was able to overcome the wall I had hit with articulating my words and was calm, collected and grounded and overall it was a really lifting learning experience.” 

“Thank you for your supportive advice – without doubt the words you offered gave me a major boost in the right direction. (NB: I printed off the industry salary averages for my role, as you advised, and presented them with hard copy evidence of what the industry pays which was well received and gave my case a solid backing – although, it perhaps also caught them a little by surprise!)

Another marketing company has also recently approached me to join their team heading up their PR department and I had an interview with them this evening, which again, (regardless of what the outcome is) was another great learning experience and chance to put the newly refined interview skills into practice. 

Both meetings went well because:

  • I felt like I was having a two-way 'human' conversation. It felt like three humans talking together and not 'two people' firing probing questions at a subordinate third person (as it can often feel in an interview situation). 

  • Less is more! I answered the questions succinctly and once I'd made a point stopped and allowed them to fill the space.

  • I allowed the facts and evidence do the talking – allowing them to prop-up my case so that I didn't need to worry about 'justifying my case' with long sentences which I think is when you can find yourself starting to waffle and then get nervous and loose track of the point.

  • I used the politician tactic of tactfully turning a negative into a positive.”

So whether you are facing a performance appraisal, pay rise review, or job interview follow the guidelines above and enjoy more success!


How to improve your interpersonal skills

“I was wondering if you had any specific tips to help me improve my interpersonal skills with other team members. I tend to be fairly quiet at work, Come in, say Hi, complete my days work, say good-bye & go home again!”

My favourite interpersonal tip is smiling (more).

Remember even if you don't feel like smiling, when you look up and smile you can't feel depressed.

This is because endorphins are produced after 2 seconds and looking up takes you into visual processing channels. 

Looking down takes you into the emotions and feelings.

Another tip is to have your lunch in the lunchroom.

Have a magazine open and when someone comes in, look up and smile.

They may then say something to you.

And if you feel like it, say something to them about something in the news / give them a compliment / or mention something your reading.

Try these and let me know how you go.



Posted on January 14, 2013 .

Explore, Dream, Discover

Enjoy Mark Twain's words and wisdom.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things
that you didn't do than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
Mark Twain

So what will you dare to do today?
With love, light and laughter,

Posted on January 14, 2013 .

Live your name

What’s important to you? What do you stand for? What do you believe about yourself?

Take your name and make an acronym to live by.


  Y Yes to life!

  V Value what’s important

  O Optimistic. Expect the best

  N NO to what I don’t want.

  N Never done. Always learning!

  E Enthusiastic



Posted on January 14, 2013 .