Assertive Skills in 2017 using Aristotle's wisdom!

It's 8th January 2017 and I'm back blogging !!

This is the 25th year of my assertive skills Maddison Training business.

I've taught / coached / facilitated the learning / trained thousands of people in assertive skills, 'The ability to speak up balanced by empathy under an umbrella of respect'.

And I encourage all my students to teach these learned skills to others. Teaching embeds your learnings as well as cascading the skills, creating a 'ripples in a pond' effect.

In practicing, living and sharing the skills . . .  (this will I hope ) . . . lead to a more peaceful world.

When you use and apply the tools and techniques of assertive communication skills you become more influential and persuasive.

Even in this 2017 digital age, we can call on the wisdom of Aristotle (4th century BC). He identified 3 fundamental elements of persuasion: Ethos, Pathos and Logos. These same 3 principles apply to speaking and writing in the 2017 digital age.

Ethos is your ( the speaker's) personal character / credibility.  Pathos appeals to the emotions of your audience and Logos is the logic behind your point of view / proof / evidence / facts to back up your proposal / suggestion.

Call to Action:

Think about who you want to persuade to do something for you today / this week. Use Ethos, Pathos and Logos to help you craft your assertive message. 

For those of you who are familiar with Yvonne's LAFFe to Success Model use this to guide you to move modes in preparing and delivering your message. Spend sometime in Logic mode to plan your best approach to suit their needs. Gather the evidence. Think WIIFT (What's In It for Them). Get creative in Fun mode. Tap into Feeling mode to appeal to their emotions. What's your credibility? Why are you saying / writing this - your ethos. Then take Action and ask / present / converse . . . 

P.S. Next post we will explore my LAFFe to Success Model.

Love to hear how you go.

Best wishes


All about you!

A lovely client emailed this quote a moment ago because she thought of me as she read it!  And I love it. It is so true.

‘Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose. You are the only answer.  To the problems of your life, you are the only solution’.

Thank you Belinda. Y xx

Posted on April 4, 2013 .

Soft skills are hard and essential says Seth G

The soft skills – the people skills – assertive skills - the ability to speak up and express your point of view and listen respectfully to others who disagree - are key to successful individual, team, and company success.

Seth Godin, best selling author and entrepreneurial thinker says:

“The hard stuff is measurable, quantifiable and easy to put into a spreadsheet. This concrete stuff gives you an easy way to demand a bonus or track progress. The soft stuff is merely essential, the real reason you do what you do. Ironically, then, hard is easy and soft is difficult. The question, I guess, is whether or not you and your team spend most of your time on the hard stuff, merely because it's easier to measure, to argue about and to hide behind?”

Take Action today

What can you do today to show you value yourself? Time out? Relax? Do something you love and you haven’t for ages?

And what can you do to show the significant people in your life – at work / home / socially – that you care and value them? Spend time together? Go to the movies? Say a specific thank you . . .

Posted on April 3, 2013 .

Job review coming up? Need best interview Skills?

Here’s some practical advice I gave KH and she implemented successfully. She writes “I heard back from my current employer today re pay rise and it is exactly the figure I had in mind so wonderful result!

Maybe something here will resonate and help you too.

KH felt she had "hit a brick wall, felt unconfident and experienced interviews as probing and stressful".

She writes, “I was able to overcome the wall I had hit with articulating my words and was calm, collected and grounded and overall it was a really lifting learning experience.” 

“Thank you for your supportive advice – without doubt the words you offered gave me a major boost in the right direction. (NB: I printed off the industry salary averages for my role, as you advised, and presented them with hard copy evidence of what the industry pays which was well received and gave my case a solid backing – although, it perhaps also caught them a little by surprise!)

Another marketing company has also recently approached me to join their team heading up their PR department and I had an interview with them this evening, which again, (regardless of what the outcome is) was another great learning experience and chance to put the newly refined interview skills into practice. 

Both meetings went well because:

  • I felt like I was having a two-way 'human' conversation. It felt like three humans talking together and not 'two people' firing probing questions at a subordinate third person (as it can often feel in an interview situation). 

  • Less is more! I answered the questions succinctly and once I'd made a point stopped and allowed them to fill the space.

  • I allowed the facts and evidence do the talking – allowing them to prop-up my case so that I didn't need to worry about 'justifying my case' with long sentences which I think is when you can find yourself starting to waffle and then get nervous and loose track of the point.

  • I used the politician tactic of tactfully turning a negative into a positive.”

So whether you are facing a performance appraisal, pay rise review, or job interview follow the guidelines above and enjoy more success!